


A Funeral And A Kiss

by DestinyFreeReally



Series: 100 Swan Queen Ficlets [11]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F, daniels death mention, feels about regina, hooks still in hell au, robins death mention
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-11
Updated: 2016-08-11
Packaged: 2018-08-08 02:02:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7739146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DestinyFreeReally/pseuds/DestinyFreeReally
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Robin's dead and Swan Queen.... deals with that, for a minute. </p><p> Not really a ficlet... or like. A really, really long ficlet, I guess.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Funeral And A Kiss

     In the five years Emma had come to call Storybrooke home, she learned to read Regina Mills. There had been a bit of a learning curve at first, and sometimes she had stumbled over it, but seeing Regina sitting alone in  _Granny's_ at 2 am staring at her gloved hands; Emma could read the neon ' _approach with caution'_ sign from a mile away.  
  
    "Regina are you..." Emma knew things weren't ' _okay_ ,' that felt silly to even say.  "How are you?" Exhaling a steady breath, she took a seat next to Regina in the booth, just nudging her over slightly. Regina didn't look  _Evil Queen_ -ish to Emma, but she didn't resemble much of herself, either. Regina still hadn't met Emma's eyes; still hadn't been stirred from a far-off land of grief and guilt.   
  
   "You know, when Daniel died... well, after. After Daniel died my mother told me that queens never cried. After all, they simply had no need. Everything they desired could be procured. Queens didn't cry or carry on. Sometimes they pouted, if the situation were dire enough. Of course we could scowl." She didn't let herself tear, not in front of Emma. Regina had held up all day; this whole very long day, and she had survived every loathed minute of it. It was true that much of her reign as the Evil Queen had been shrouded in death, but funerals were another matter entirely. "Miserable. Like I should be, after all. I mean, what did I actually think... _You_ know I'm sorry, right?"  
  
   Unsure of what response  _that_ loaded question merited, Emma took her time answering, waving that neon sign by, even for all it's flashing.   
  
   "I'm not... I'm not going to tell you not to cry, Regina. You lost someone important to you, you don't have to be sorry for that. You don't have anything to be sorry for, none of this was your fault..." Emma swallowed the hefty lump of guilt in her throat. Asking Regina for forgiveness always felt like tearing out her own heart; a feeling Emma remembered well enough to admit it was a fairly comparable experience.   
  
    "But wasn't it?" Finally Regina's face turned to Emma's, only it brought a winning and forced smile to match dark, glistening eyes. "What right does the Evil Queen have to happiness? I've been..." She choked back a laugh, and then a sob. Emma could only find that concerning. "I've been so foolish. And so selfish. To Robin. To you." A tear slowly slid down her cheek, catching on her chin. It was easy for Regina to ignore it, and then the next one, but Emma had to fight the urge to brush it away.   
  
   Abruptly aware of how tightly Regina was holding her fingers in her lap, Emma still felt uncomfortably helpless. She hadn't been able to save Robin, so how could she help Regina?  
  
   "You've been... you've been so strong... for everyone, for Henry, for me." Emma's mouth tasted dry, like someone had just knocked all the wind out of her- and taken all of her comforting, sensible,  _right_ words with it. Her lashes collected tears, too. "You  _aren't_ the Evil Queen anymore, Regina, you deserve happiness; none of this... none of this is your fault."  
  
   Emma's hand reached for the back of Regina's head- smoothing soft strands of dark hair and grazing the nape of her neck. When Regina thought about losing Daniel, she remembered making herself hard. She remembered steeling herself to pain until it didn't hurt. Emma hands, tenderly touching her, reminded Regina to be soft. Reminded Regina that here, in Emma Swan's hands, there wasn't an evil queen too hard to cry, or feel guilt, or love.   
  
    Minutes of quiet almost-comfort passed between them. Lifetimes of isolation and loss melted into gentle compassion; that's what they had always been able to offer each other, even unknowingly. Even when they'd hated each other they'd sought to understand.  
  
    "You- um.." Emma released a breath and stopped fighting the urge to thumb away a tear still settled on Regina's chin; and touch barrier broken, Regina didn't pull back. She closed her eyes when the soft hand came to settle under her ear; she let herself lean in to it, lean into Emma.  
  
    "I can't," Regina started to whisper, started to tell both of them. She wished she could lie, to herself or Emma. Throughout her life Regina had always been able to identify the common denominator in her tragedy; she brought it with her like a shadow. "Robin is dead, Emma-" Sucking in a breath, Regina's lower lip trembled. "He's dead because I even dared to _want_ to feel  _anything_ for him- If I... If we-"   
  
    Hand still curved around Regina's face, Emma didn't stir.  She watched the crinkle between Regina's brows knit; she learned  _this_ Regina.  
  
   Bringing that crinkle to her lips, Emma pressed Regina closer; a tangle of limbs and insecurities to be kissed and appreciated. 


End file.
